silken strand

Carpe Diem Tanka Splendor #10 Teika's 4th Tanka Writing Technique - convicting feeling (abandoned beach)


like a silken strand
floating on the autumn breeze
in total freedom
suddenly ensnared by hate
she is free to float no more

©  petra domina

Thanks to Chèvrefeuille for daily prompts on 

CARPE DIEM HAIKU KAI

Comments

  1. Yamini MacLeanNovember 11, 2016 at 3:26 AM

    Hari OM
    ... reread this one several times, with cogitation between each reading... I was floating with the strand until it was hit by hate. It surely is a feeling which convicts - and sentences - us... more power to your 'pen'! YAM xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. JaniceNovember 13, 2016 at 3:43 PM

      Glad you were able to get something from this.

      Delete
  2. MagyarNovember 12, 2016 at 3:37 PM

    __ I, with due respect do apologize, having shuffled the last two lines of your good verse. Just... a humble mirror's view.
    _m

    Suddenly ensnared by love; they are free to hate no more.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. JaniceNovember 13, 2016 at 3:44 PM

      A positive take on the world is always good.

      Delete
  3. ChèvrefeuilleNovember 17, 2016 at 6:20 PM

    Nicely done Janice. I think you have created a strong tanka.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. JaniceNovember 17, 2016 at 6:51 PM

      Thank you, Kristjaan. Your words are so encouraging!

      Delete

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