South Padre Island

South Padre Island

Tuesday, October 18, 2016

riversong

Carpe Diem Universal Jane #3 riversong


riversong
wind blown from autumn trees
a stream of gold                               © Jane Reichhold

flows over the smooth stones
with a gentle kiss goodby

caught
by rocky hands
golden prisoners

tarnished by the pounding flow
gold becomes the river mud

destroyed
in a baptism
for new life

from the depth a seed takes hold
by and by new riversongs

©  petra domina

Thanks to Chèvrefeuille for daily prompts on 

CARPE DIEM HAIKU KAI



23 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Thanks, Jen. Hope to get caught up on reading other posts.

      Delete
  2. I really like the way you have repeated the word 'by' and the following lines are beautiful:

    flows over the smooth stones
    with a gentle kiss goodby


    tarnished by the pounding flow
    gold becomes the river mud

    from the depth a seed takes hold
    by and by new riversongs

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kim, I really did not even realize it till you mentioned the 'by' repetition. Another muse amusing themselves!

      Delete
  3. So beautiful, it is a marvelous expression.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hari OM
    Rippling words conveying the scene! YAM xx

    ReplyDelete
  5. Awesome Janice what a fine Soliloquy no Renga. .. Chapeau. That repetition makes it strong.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Awesome Janice what a fine Soliloquy no Renga. .. Chapeau. That repetition makes it strong.

    ReplyDelete
  7. from the depth a seed takes hold
    by and by new riversongs

    The eventual success of procreating a lineage of good people! Wonderful lines Janice!

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am so pleased you enjoyed this, Hank.

      Delete
  8. I love the story you created from 'caught by rocky hands' to 'new riversongs'. janice (ontheland)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Please to have written something you could enjoy!

      Delete
  9. What a treat to read this, Janice!! love the underlying message here and your two last lines kiss the entire masterpiece.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Such kind words! Glad you enjoyed, Cheryl-Lynn.

      Delete