riversong

Carpe Diem Universal Jane #3 riversong


riversong
wind blown from autumn trees
a stream of gold                               © Jane Reichhold

flows over the smooth stones
with a gentle kiss goodby

caught
by rocky hands
golden prisoners

tarnished by the pounding flow
gold becomes the river mud

destroyed
in a baptism
for new life

from the depth a seed takes hold
by and by new riversongs

©  petra domina

Thanks to Chèvrefeuille for daily prompts on 

CARPE DIEM HAIKU KAI



Comments

  1. humbirdOctober 18, 2016 at 10:53 PM

    So deep images, great!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Kim M. RussellOctober 19, 2016 at 2:29 AM

    I really like the way you have repeated the word 'by' and the following lines are beautiful:

    flows over the smooth stones
    with a gentle kiss goodby


    tarnished by the pounding flow
    gold becomes the river mud

    from the depth a seed takes hold
    by and by new riversongs

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. JaniceOctober 19, 2016 at 12:32 PM

      Kim, I really did not even realize it till you mentioned the 'by' repetition. Another muse amusing themselves!

      Delete
  3. Nicole PottierOctober 19, 2016 at 3:11 AM

    so beautiful.... well done !

    ReplyDelete
  4. Helene VaillantOctober 19, 2016 at 10:18 AM

    So beautiful, it is a marvelous expression.

    ReplyDelete
  5. JaniceOctober 19, 2016 at 12:30 PM

    Thanks, Jen. Hope to get caught up on reading other posts.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Yamini MacLeanOctober 19, 2016 at 3:21 PM

    Hari OM
    Rippling words conveying the scene! YAM xx

    ReplyDelete
  7. ChèvrefeuilleOctober 19, 2016 at 6:25 PM

    Awesome Janice what a fine Soliloquy no Renga. .. Chapeau. That repetition makes it strong.

    ReplyDelete
  8. ChèvrefeuilleOctober 19, 2016 at 6:25 PM

    Awesome Janice what a fine Soliloquy no Renga. .. Chapeau. That repetition makes it strong.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Pat ROctober 19, 2016 at 7:41 PM

    A very good job Janice.

    ReplyDelete
  10. kaykualaOctober 20, 2016 at 4:00 AM

    from the depth a seed takes hold
    by and by new riversongs

    The eventual success of procreating a lineage of good people! Wonderful lines Janice!

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
  11. CedarwindOctober 21, 2016 at 8:35 AM

    I love the story you created from 'caught by rocky hands' to 'new riversongs'. janice (ontheland)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. JaniceOctober 21, 2016 at 5:17 PM

      Please to have written something you could enjoy!

      Delete
  12. TournesolOctober 26, 2016 at 10:33 AM

    What a treat to read this, Janice!! love the underlying message here and your two last lines kiss the entire masterpiece.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. JaniceOctober 26, 2016 at 10:18 PM

      Such kind words! Glad you enjoyed, Cheryl-Lynn.

      Delete

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