teacher
Carpe Diem #1123 the road is our teacher
crunching
against the leather soles
pebbles speak
youthful feet skip not hearing
pilgrim moves in harmony
© petra domina
Thanks to Chèvrefeuille for daily prompts on
waiting for autumn
Carpe Diem #1227 waiting for autumn (Aki tikashi, Aki wo matsu) in the summer heat perching black birds pant waiting for autumn © petra domina Thanks to Chèvrefeuille for daily prompts on CARPE DIEM HAIKU KAI
Well you did teo things there....you found a brilliant angle in those first three lines to describe the sound of pebbles, andcompleted with two lines that played so well with the concept. Really enjoyed.
ReplyDeleteGreat! Thanks for your kind comments, Hamish. You are doing many fine works but no place to leave feedback. janice
DeleteI like the sound and personification in this tanka - they create a sense of movement together with those youthful feet!
ReplyDelete:-) a great image and the onomatopoeic crunching brought the tanka alive from the very beginning. Bastet
ReplyDeleteGood to hear from you, Bastet! Hope all is well with you.
DeleteSaying a lot this poem!
ReplyDeleteThanks for your commenting!
DeleteSuch a long journey and there must hve been hours of silence...the crunching of the pebbles must have echoed so loudly...beautiful tanka, Janice!
ReplyDeleteThank you C-L. I loved my backyard rock paths and the crunch sound as I walked and worked.
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