Well you did teo things there....you found a brilliant angle in those first three lines to describe the sound of pebbles, andcompleted with two lines that played so well with the concept. Really enjoyed.
Carpe Diem Weekend Meditation #38 A Trip Along Memory Lane #1 Carpe Diem Special How happy! Bathing in the tub full to overflowing The above one line poem by Sumitaku Kenshin (1961-1987) really sent me down memory lane. Until I was a teenager my family lived on a farm. The year Sumitaku Kenshin was born, my family moved "in town". That move brought us into a new age, indoor plumbing. Until that time there was a galvanized tub for baths and a path for other bodily necessities. Baths were taken on the screened in back porch during the summer months. There would be 3 to 4 inches of water in the tub. Water drawn from the well just outside the house. Some of the water would be heated in the teakettle on the stove in the kitchen. Youngest child would bath first. Then up through the ages of the children. Daddy was always the last. In the same 3 to 4 inches of water. Once baths were done, the tub was overturned and the porch scrubbed. Cause water was is
Well you did teo things there....you found a brilliant angle in those first three lines to describe the sound of pebbles, andcompleted with two lines that played so well with the concept. Really enjoyed.
ReplyDeleteGreat! Thanks for your kind comments, Hamish. You are doing many fine works but no place to leave feedback. janice
DeleteI like the sound and personification in this tanka - they create a sense of movement together with those youthful feet!
ReplyDelete:-) a great image and the onomatopoeic crunching brought the tanka alive from the very beginning. Bastet
ReplyDeleteGood to hear from you, Bastet! Hope all is well with you.
DeleteSaying a lot this poem!
ReplyDeleteThanks for your commenting!
DeleteSuch a long journey and there must hve been hours of silence...the crunching of the pebbles must have echoed so loudly...beautiful tanka, Janice!
ReplyDeleteThank you C-L. I loved my backyard rock paths and the crunch sound as I walked and worked.
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