Well you did teo things there....you found a brilliant angle in those first three lines to describe the sound of pebbles, andcompleted with two lines that played so well with the concept. Really enjoyed.
Great! Thanks for your kind comments, Hamish. You are doing many fine works but no place to leave feedback. janice
I like the sound and personification in this tanka - they create a sense of movement together with those youthful feet!
Thank you, Kim.
:-) a great image and the onomatopoeic crunching brought the tanka alive from the very beginning. Bastet
Good to hear from you, Bastet! Hope all is well with you.
Saying a lot this poem!
Thanks for your commenting!
Such a long journey and there must hve been hours of silence...the crunching of the pebbles must have echoed so loudly...beautiful tanka, Janice!
Thank you C-L. I loved my backyard rock paths and the crunch sound as I walked and worked.